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Teen Dating Violence Awareness|Case Study|NBA Youngboy & Jania

November 9, 2018

 

For November we are discussing Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month as our national monthly topic. Hopefully this blog can motivate you to find help and leave these toxic relationships. No one should put up with physical violence and it only takes one bad blow to eventually end your life. Our case study is Jania and Kentrell aka NBA (N.ever B.roke A.gain) Youngboy. Both these young adults from Louisiana are under the age of 21 years old. 

 

For the last two years these two have been live-streaming their chaotic relationship to their fan base. That wouldn’t be a problem if NBA wasn’t beating and gaslighting Jania on and off Instagram. It has gotten so bad that TMZ caught photos of Jania sleeping inside a hotel lobby because NBA kicked her out of their hotel room to have sex with another woman. 

 

 

But before that, NBA beat Jania on camera for inquiring why he was kicking her out their hotel room and inviting another woman in. There wasn’t sound to the camera but we didn’t need sound for viewers to understand what was going on. We could clearly see the blows bearing Jania down and she looking like a rag doll.

 

 

Jania came out and claimed NBA “mushed” her and that it wasn’t a big deal. As if viewers were didn’t see the rage and violence that flooded over Jania’s body by way of NBA’s fists. 

 

Viewers got so involved in their tumultuous relationship that they asked where were the adults because clearly these young adults need guidance, then came mama NBA Youngboy to come on the scene with her large sailor mouth. All she did do was turn a flame into a blaze cussing everyone and their momma out for having an opinion on her son’s very public relationship. 

 

 

Jania appeared on her Instagram live with a black eye. The obvious suspicion behind the bruise was NBA but Jania stood firm in her conviction against the allegations of NBA being behind her wounded eye. She went to far as to blame ramen noodles. She claimed that the water from a pot that she was cooking the ramen noodle in jumped up and formed a massive callus fist and sucker punched her. Of course anyone with sense knew that her story had none. But Jania stuck by her story.

 

 

Then a rumor hit the internet that NBA once again was cheating and that he got another woman pregnant (he has 4 CHILDREN) but that’s not the shocker, the shocker was allegedly NBA had gotten herpes. At first Jania and NBA both denied the rumors on their individual Instagram livestreams. Finally NBA released a song speaking about herpes-gate and confirming the rumors. Once the song made waves Jania continued to deny the rumors of her having herpes stating just because NBA has herpes doesn’t mean that she does. To top this preventable debacle off, NBA’s foul mouth mother jumped in to defend her son cussing out and stating that many people have herpes and it’s nothing to talk about. 

 

 

The last straw for Jania wasn’t the physical abuse, cheating, chaotic emotional abuse or herpes. Nope. The final straw was NBA’s doing when he publicly blasted Jania for going to a rap concert and broke up with her. He decided to unleash another can of vitriol on the five months pregnant young woman and called Jania a pregnant groupie. As much as Jania has been through, she finally gets handed NBA’s ass to kiss when he called her a pregnant groupie and less than a week late was putting a new girl on his social media. While Jania is faking that she doesn’t care.

 

 

Of course this story is sad but that’s not why I recapped it for you all. I recapped it for us to sift through the insanity to highlight the red flags. Let us go on and learn from this tragic mistake. NBA Youngboy is a young man from the ghetto of Louisiana. In all of his social media clout we never see images or videos of NBA and his father which leads us to believe that he never had a father. We have saw images and videos of his mother and his mother is the perfect stereo typical loud mouth hood woman. And even in the herpes gates rap song and be a spoke About his childhood adversities and how his mother wasn’t very emotionally abusive, probably even physically abusive. Cycles like these are not unusual and are typically generational. More chances than not NBA’s mother was abused by her mother and so on and so forth.

 

When it came to Jania we never saw any images or pictures of Jania’s father  Which led us to believe that she didn’t have a father. On that note, we never even seen Jania and her family interacted on Instagram like she does with NBA Youngboy which leads us to believe that her whole life, her whole purpose is to be around NBA Youngboy and to be his main girl. We also didn’t see Jania doing any activity that didn’t relate to being in NBA Youngboy’s shadow. She isn’t in college or working a job. 

 

How many of us would be surprised if Jania’s family, specifically her mother told Jania to accept NBA’s punching bag treatment because NBA is getting some type of financial gain from being a rapper. Jania’s family more than likely is from a poor neighborhood in Louisiana and Jania is seen as the golden ticket for not only herself but her family as well. Jania might be the difference between public housing and a new house for her mother.

 

Honestly, these two young adults should have never been an item. NBA is too young, too immature and battling too many demons in the public eye to have ever consider him a suitable mate for a woman and definitely not capable of being a decent father. Jania has a codependency problem because no matter what NBA does to her, treats her, shows her... she will be right there to take the blows and humiliation with a smile. She is looking for love in NBA that she probably never received, specifically by her father. 

 

NBA Youngboy has never seen a functioning and healthy loving relationship between a woman and a man. The closest thing that he has seen to manhood and guidance came through his mother who herself embodies the hood, angry, belligerent, bitter uncouth Black Woman stereotype. There is no love in her demeanor or deliverance when speaking to NBA. Just like Jania, NBA too is the mule of his family to get out of the hood. He is willing to pull off any antic that will lead to any type of fame and hopefully trade it for money. 

 

Both of these young people are tragic tales of what happens when generational curses are not recognized and broken and how dysfunctional backgrounds keep the upcoming generations solidified and toxicity. Jania unfortunately will go back to NBA because she has no self-esteem or self-worth and whatever pseudo self-worth she finds is through the validation of NBA even if it comes through his fists. NBA won’t stop abusing women because his abuse unfortunately enhances his bad boy reputation. It won’t be until a deadly disease more than herpes to stop him. Or perhaps down the line of life he’ll have daughters who fall into the trap of subconsciously seeking men like NBA Youngboy as husbands, boyfriends, fiancés, baby fathers etc. 

 

Let this be a warning to young people that love is not found outwardly. It’s an inward process. How you feel about yourself and how you were raised is what you’re going to reflect to the outside world. Jania embodies the classic woman beater syndrome due to her upbringing that didn’t portray healthy love, in particular by her father. NBA embodies the classic abuser prototype. He was not shown healthy love and guidance from a stable and functional man to teach him what corrective manhood is. His mother took on that energy and she did a horrible job because she only exhibits the rough and tough, vile aspects of masculinity. Mama NBA does not balance the ying and yang. She doesn’t display the masculinity that protects, that has accountability, that is respectful, that is honorable, that is generous, that is genuine, that is decent, that loves because  she probably has never experienced those aspects of masculinity herself. The men that she engages with have not mastered any of those characteristics either.  

 

Everything that glitters isn’t gold and in this case, everything shouldn’t be for the gram but if it is on the gram it ain’t real and it definitely isn’t healthy. Love does not come at the cost of your self-esteem or self-respect. And being a man has nothing to do with how violent you are or how much terror you can cause or how many women you can bed. Let this be a warning to teens of the dangers of teen dating violence. Be precautionary and proactive by spreading the word.    

 

 

On this platform we speak about sexual assault, mental health and healing. If at any other time you felt isolated and thought you couldn't speak about your truth know that here is that platform to Speak Up. Speak Out. Speak Truth. If you need to speak to someone who knows sexual violence and mental health disorders contact me for a private one on one conversation with me. I answer questions, give advise and provide coaching. Want to get started now? Click the picture above or HERE. 

 

If You Missed Last Week's Blog: Emotional Wellness: Paint Your Truth 11.17.18. Click HERE to read.

 

 

 

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I'll leave you with a personal quote of mine, "It's imperative that these acts of wrongdoings do not continue unchecked for it is our children who pay the highest cost." - Vie Ciné 

 

As Iyanla Vanzant says, "I am not my sister's keep, I am my sister." 

 

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Be Blessed. Be Enlightened. Be Loved. ✌🏾

 

 

 

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