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So, You Need Therapy

September 21, 2018


September in self-care month so let's get into the conversation phrased around therapy. Before you start coming up with 101 reasons why you don’t need therapy or typecasting clients who go to therapy as crazy or Caucasian, just know that on average people will experience one major crisis in their lifetime. Let's be preventative concerning your impending crisis that can be triggered by numerous factors like stress, relationships, income etc by going to therapy. Most insurances will cover mental health care, some in totality and others require a copay. So what's the hold up?


What Is Therapy Like?

Therapy is talking to a person about the most pressing issues in your life with full trust and vulnerability. Of course, it will take time and experience for you to open up and a good therapist will understand the hesitation but insist you are in good hands. A good therapist will wait for the opportunity you are willing to dive deeper into why you sought out help. The therapist only knows what you want them to know about yourself and a good therapist’s intention is to help you work out those issues. The great thing about therapy is that, the therapist can know about specific points in your life but know nothing else. You don't need to share backstories or fill in gaps if you choose not to. On top of that, your therapist doesn't need to know about the daily ins and outs of your current life.


It’s like a replaying certain events in your life but having the mystical powers of Zack Morris by yelling freeze. Once you freeze that event, you and your therapist sifting through that moment to gain better perspective to help you emotionally and psychologically move on. Confidentiality is the foundation of therapy. You never need to worry about your therapist putting your business on front street and if you happen to run into him/her, s/he wouldn’t approach you unless you about him/her first. It’s protocol, and if you do decide to approach, s/he will acknowledge you without mentioning anything about therapy. How’s that for staying on code?!

Therapist are not here to judge you. Their job is to assist you in a professional manner. Think of it as talking to an acquaintance about your most inner thoughts without all that extra emotional labor of keeping in touch or worrying if other members in your extended circle know what you two are doing. It’s comforting knowing that you have someone to bounce ideas off of and lay your burdens on that'll respect your boundaries unlike your mother, friends, significant other or whomever. Those people in your immediate circle are in your life for a reason and a therapist should not replace them in value, however, they don’t have the credentials nor experience to give help in the way that a therapist can.


Think of it like this, you wouldn’t let your doctor give you legal advice no matter how many cop shows he’s seen because his license is in the medical field not the justice system. And if you happen to stumble upon a not so great therapist, whether it's because you and s/he aren't compatible or s/he just blatantly sucks, you can always request a new therapist through your insurance. You aren’t locked down to a random person because s/he is a therapist. You aren’t obligated to stay in the process if you’re not interested. This is your life and you’re in control. Vet therapists out; select the ones who fit your criteria i.e. cultural competency, cultural humility, lgbtq friendly, racial solidarity, sex preferred etc the narrow it down to one.


Does Therapy Work?

Just like everything in life, rewards are measured by the energy that one puts forth. Meaning I can’t say for definite that therapy will help you and your life will improve drastically by 1000%. Perhaps you’ll need five sessions and then end your client therapist relationship. Perhaps you’ll need a couple of years as you grow in this journey called life with your therapist for assistance. No one can determine what your journey in therapy will look like but you. No one can say if therapy will improve your life, because regardless of therapy, this is your life. The quality of your life is determined by you and the decisions you make. A therapist is only their to support you in those decisions but ultimately you have the last say. You are the captain of the ship. The best way to get the best results is to be fully engaged in the process and make positive changes where you see fit. But most of that work is outside of the sessions. If you think just talking will change your life, you’ll be sadly disappointed and have a negative view of the therapeutic process.


How Do You Find A Therapist?


The simplest answer is through your insurance. But, you can find therapist through your own research online or through community resources. If you really want the help, trust me, you’ll find it. It might take some digging and vetting but ultimately you’ll find it. In the times that we are living in and the impact of social media, mental health is usually the last item prioritized yet is often the most important issue to tackle. Don’t neglect your psychological well-being any longer. Take that step and sort through the baggage you’re carrying. We all got baggage but it’s time to decided if we’re going to recycle some of it, trash what's expired, donate what we no longer need and keep what helps us be the best version of ourselves. If you like what you’ve read check out my previous recommendation blogs to the right on this page. If you REALLY like what you’ve read, drop a donation on the homepage. Sis could use all the coins.


Click HERE to find Black Women Therapists across the country.



On this platform we speak about sexual assault, mental health and healing. If at any other time you felt isolated and thought you couldn't speak about your truth know that here is that platform to Speak Up. Speak Out. Speak Truth. If you need to speak to someone who knows sexual violence and mental health disorders contact me for a private one on one conversation with me. I answer questions, give advise and provide coaching. Want to get started now? Click the picture above or HERE


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