It's a new month so that means the next upcoming blogs will have to do with February's topic. February's topic is Black History and Teen Dating Violence. For this specific blog we will be discussing Black History and how Black girl's are preyed upon by Black men. By now you've heard about the little girl who's about six years old who was sexually abused on camera by a grown man (Germaine Moore, 44, Milbrook, Alabama). The video has gone viral sweeping through inboxes across Facebook messenger. Everyone collecting the little girl's abuse and trading her violation like a prized collection. I imagine the views of the video has risen to the hundreds of thousands perhaps millions to cross the threshold of viral and I wonder, how many people flagged the video or contacted the authorities? How many people found the video repulsive enough to end its circulation and not shocking enough to make it a topic of discussion? This leads me to believe that Black Girls Are being Preyed Upon By Black Men and we are taught that it's normal so we don't react in outrage instead we are complicit to the violation.
As I have on many occassions, I will quote again The Black Women's Blueprint stating, "60% of Black women will be sexually abused by the age of 18." This means more often than not we as Black women will come across another sister who has experienced sexual contact without her permission whether it means molestation, rape or sexual assault (oral sex in relation to the video we're referrencing in this blog). We're not even factoring in the women who feel too guilty or ashamed to admit they've experienced violations in their lifetime because we know how the Black Community operates. What happens in the home stays in the home. We know everything is about saying face and protecting the family particularly the Black man. We believe that everything is against him and if we just love him enough, protect him enough, grade him on a sliding scale, lie on his behalf, give him unconditional love etc he will change. But that's not what we're seeing. We are seeing a generation of women who are accustom to the abuse and pass on the sick ideology of uplifting the Black man, uplifting him past ourselves to the point he is standing on our backs walking all over us; violating us in multiple ways and we don't only allow it but we make excuses for it.
My Facebook Post venting my frustrations with the Black Folk's response to the video.
How many Black women knew of the cries and ignored them from little girls late at night when some Black family member or family friend was sneaking into their bedroom? How many mothers invited their daughter's violator to the dinner table each and every night knowing what he did? How many Black women told their nieces that they were lying when they had the courage to finally speak up about uncle so and so touching them? How many female cousins told their cousins to not say anything because it would land the perpetrator in prison (rightfully so) and that it would be her, (the victims) fault? Why is it that we are complicit in the sexual ravaging of Black girls and not complicit in holding these men accountable? Do we truly love and honor our Black women and girls or do we tolerate them for sexual gratification?
The way we speak about Black girls is problematic from its genesis. Any decision she makes it is magnified and crutinized. From who she plays with and how she plays i.e. if she plays with boys then she's a tomboy who will eventually be a dyke. If she plays with dolls like a mother figure then she's fast and she's thinking of sex. If a Black girl is into academics then she thinks she's too good for regular Black folks aka "She thinks she's White." If she has slang in her vocabulary and a twang in her candice then she's ghetto and uneducated. If she wears loose fitted clothes then she's ugly and probably has a bad built. If she shows off her body with confidence then she's a whore looking for male attention. ANYTHING and EVERYTHING a Black girl does is to be dissected and dipicted the most extreme manner. Black girls are robbed off their freedom to be and grow through this human experience because once Black girls are free we are unstoppable. We will conquer, be the best versions of ourselves and choose ourselves first.
This is why the Black Community gets us early. Mistreats us early. Tell us to be minons to those who betray our loyalty. Rape us and tell us we wanted it. Shames our interests. Finds negativity in the most positive of things. This is done methodically because if you are told from the craddle that you don't matter, you'll spend your entire life giving your best self to someone else, willingly, thinking that's the best thing for you. This is why when you see civil rights movements and social parties it is the Black women (former Black girls) who are in the forefront as the sacrifice. They are the ones putting themselves in harms way and often losing their reputation and oppurtunities to play martry for men who not only harm them but won't do the same thing in return for Black women (former abused Black girls). This is classic Stockholm. This is classic trauma bonding. This is classic dysfunction.
But the Black Community has made this the rites of passage for Black girls and the ones who turn into guard dogs as Black women for Black men, they are the ones in turn keep the abuse going for generations similar to the Aunts from the show The Handmaiden's Tale. The purpose of the Aunts and the Black women who too have gone through this cycle of abuse is to keep the next generation continuing the abuse. They are cosigners and often the ones enforcing the abuse. This is why sexual abuse is so rampid the the Black Community. So much so a video of a baby girl being violated can go viral as we make jokes about that pervy uncle at the cookout and comment on 'what if' memes presented to question our morality of someone we find sexually attractive with an insedious plot twist.
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I'll leave you with a personal quote of mine, "It's imperative that these acts of wrongdoings do not continue unchecked for it is our children who pay the highest cost." - Vie Ciné
As Iyanla Vanzant says, "I am not my sister's keep, I am my sister."
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