November is national family story month. And if you’ve been following this blog you know I am very candid about speaking on my family. These people and the stories we share shaped me to who I am today. I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse on a mission to heal victims by encouraging them to speak their truth.
Moving forward in the second part of this series we are first going to discuss my Auntie. My Auntie is a broken woman. My aunt is one of those people who has no filter and is a mean girl at heart. The genesis of her attitude probably came from having to battle to get attention from my matriarch grandmother that favored my mother (the youngest and last daughter).
From what I was told my Auntie was the trouble rebellious child who sought validation from men. Supposedly the men she liked liked her back until they discovered by mother than interest declined from Auntie. Auntie’s body left the tiny island of Haiti as well as that mentality of envy. Typically childhood bad behaviors mature and dissipate as the body does but for Auntie it hasn’t. The sibling rivalry heightened through the years especially when younger sister (my mother) got pregnant before she did. My Auntie’s nice/nasty attitude shifted towards me.
Example: When I was a young child Auntie used to call me “Ugly Girl” as a so called pet name. At a time when self-esteem is being developed and shaped calling a little girl ugly would do nothing but destroy her pride. I’m sure my Auntie knew this and continued belittling me because it was easier to knock a child down than to address decades old strife with a grown woman. She has a way of sacrificing me to really hit her intended target; my mother. To this day Auntie upholds that her cut throat words and actions were playful and meant no malice. But I know her well to keep my distance and to speak to her direct, brief and with authority because anything else would be like letting one roach into a kitchen. Soon there will be an infestation of questions looking to lay eggs of distortion of truth and gossip.
My Uncle is a broken man. He has always had a captain save a ...stuck in the middle of women’s business ... manipulated puppet. My Uncle has attempted to be a peacekeeper and peacemaker since stepping up as the father figure in his mother’s home after his father died in Haiti.
For the most part Uncle was able to garner some respect in a household full of women but depending on who got in his ear the quickest to campaign ferociously about whatever, that’s who my Uncle leaned in favor of. When he moved to the U.S., the first of the family, Uncle had his own stability going on until he met a woman who could give him permanent stay in the U.S. He married her under agreement.
Uncle’s wife is the definition of overbearing yet he chose her, probably because he has become accustom to that type of woman from years of upbringing from his mother (being the oldest and only boy) to his sensitive drama queen sisters. And as a yes man with hardly any words to speak he plays his woman pleasing role while eclipsing his own masculinity.
To Be Continued …
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