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Part 3 You Couldn't Love My Type

October 21, 2017

 

We're continuing Depression Awareness Month which is October with more revealing stories from my past battling childhood depression. We are in the third installment of my depression story that will be broken into four parts. If you missed the second installment click HERE to read.

 

Adolescence 

 

"I'm probably going to end up being a cat lady. I don't think I'm going to get married."

"Why?!"

"I don't know, I just don't think I will get married. I'll just be a Cat Lady."

(Mentally inserts an image of Eleanor Abernathy aka crazy cat lady from The Simpsons).

 

A Cat Lady is a reject. A woman who is devalued and exiled from intimacy. Unlike men who could never marry and be deemed attractive with the term 'bachelor' women are not afforded the same luxury. We're Old Maids, Spinsters, Cat Ladies, REJECTS.

 

Why did I believe with all certainty and clarity I was destined to be a Cat Lady at 16? Was I ugly? Was I dykie? Was I socially awkie? ...I was traumatized. The last thing I wanted was for some man to have power over me. Whether physically inept to bound me ...keeping me stagnant. Whether emotionally with the prowess to toy with my heart ...keeping me enslaved to my erratic feelings. Whether mentally swift with his manipulation skills ...keeping me mentally seven steps behind in the chess game of life. And GODforbid sexually. I knew I had the lips hand crafted by GOD with the ability to resurrect the dead with a kiss. But sex? Like, get naked and hump on each other. I'd rather slit my wrists. I need control. I need to do what I do and cut it off without an explanation because I was quick with the deuces, unapologetic. Had others in my back pocket. Don't fall for my type because my type isn't capable of love. Enjoy the moment because it won't last.

 

So I party. I drink. I smoke. Nothing like escapism to, you know, escape. Escape my parents. Escape Jehovah Witness doctrines. Escape frienemies. Escape myself because myself was stagnant, enslaved to my erratic feelings, manipulated by life and sexually objectified, French kissed passionately dysfunction. 

 

 

On this platform we speak about sexual assault, mental health and healing. If at any other time you felt isolated and thought you couldn't speak about your truth know that here is that platform to Speak Up. Speak Out. Speak Truth. If you need to speak to someone who knows sexual violence and mental health disorders contact me for a private one on one conversation with me. I answer questions, give advise and provide coaching. Want to get started now? Click the picture above or HERE.

 

 

Paint Your Truth is a FREE healing painting event for Urban sexual assault victims. The purpose of Paint Your Truth is to encourage survivors to continue their healing process byway of utilizing art. This isn't a therapy session but a supportive gathering of sexual assault survivors coming together as a collective regardless of where we are in our individual place in our journey to survivorship. Click the picture above or HERE to sign up. 

 

If You Missed Last Week's Blog: Part 2 Prisoner To My Thoughts

 

Follow: vieis_me Instagram page for snippets from Tuesday's livestreams at 8pm eastern on Facebook Page Author Vie Ciné where we discuss whatever you want to. No subject is off topic from sexual trauma, mental health, celebrities, politics etc. 

 

Miss the last livestream? Click HERE to watch the replay.

 

Follow: MEMOIRSOFAFORGOTTENCHILD Instagram page for exclusive reads

from and updates for MEMOIRS OF A FORGOTTEN CHILD ebook. The most recent book trailer part Part 40 I reveal by the end of middle school I had completely sunken into depression. Everything was a drag but certain pops of happiness kept me going with masking my pain. I was the go to person for support and relief but I couldn't relieve myself. I reference how Robin Williams was a comedian but committed suicide due to depression. Click HERE to watch.

 

I'll leave you with a personal quote of mine, "It's imperative that these acts of wrongdoings do not continue unchecked for it is our children who pay the highest cost." - Vie Ciné

 

As Iyanla Vanzant says, "I am not my sister's keep, I am my sister."

 

 

New Subscribers will get a FREE ebook titled 10 Tips To Detect A Pedophile.
It's a 
MUST READ for parents and caregivers!

 

Purchase MEMOIRS OF A FORGOTTEN CHILD now on Amazon Kindle: HERE or in the STORE page.

 

Be Blessed. Be Enlightened. Be Loved. ✌🏿

 

 

 

 

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