October is national depression awareness month. We are in the second installment of my depression story that will be broken into four parts. If you missed the first installment click HERE to read.
In my preteen years I was pretty popular. I had my clique of girls that I held clout in. I was cool enough with the boys that we could play together without my girl cooties plaguing their patriarchal indoctrination. My artistic skills lifted my ego, super boosted. From the outside I appeared to be the typical happy all-around American kid. But that's why we say looks can be deceiving because I wasn't truly happy.
I had unwillingly converted into a religion by way of my mother against my will. I regretted the Saturday my mother answered the door to Haitian Jehovah Witnesses that infiltrated our lives with Tour De Garde and Reunions. I had a father who hated the world in a stoic pessimistic view of things that inadvertently meant me too. And in between spelling word tests and recalling funny moments from comedic television series I still was avoiding the elephant in my thoughts, "my rape."
Have you ever had to compartmentalize your thoughts? I mean push back your intrusive flashbacks quickly in hopes you can remember something more appeasing...Something more soothing...Something that will keep you running from your Truth because the lie is more comforting. The secret you inherited through force locks you in as prisoner of a life long sentence. So the best you can do is make light of it by avoiding the existence of it. Rape.
But at 10 years young it happened again, rape, but by the hands of another person. It's like the demonic spirit of rape possesses people to possess the bodies of victims of course without permission and leaves victims feeling disgusted. My aunt's friend's cousin's son. Do you follow me? As with my babysitter's ex I was stuck in space, lost in space, scared in space. Prisoner to my thoughts.
On this platform we speak about sexual assault, mental health and healing. If at any other time you felt isolated and thought you couldn't speak about your truth know that here is that platform to Speak Up. Speak Out. Speak Truth. If you need to speak to someone who knows sexual violence and mental health disorders contact me for a private one on one conversation with me. I answer questions, give advise and provide coaching. Want to get started now? Click the picture above or HERE.
Paint Your Truth is a FREE healing painting event for Urban sexual assault victims. The purpose of Paint Your Truth is to encourage survivors to continue their healing process byway of utilizing art. This isn't a therapy session but a supportive gathering of sexual assault survivors coming together as a collective regardless of where we are in our individual place in our journey to survivorship. Click the picture above or HERE to sign up.
If You Missed Last Week's Blog: Part 1 Depression Had A Hold On Me
Follow: vieis_me Instagram page for snippets from Tuesday's livestreams at 8pm eastern on Facebook Page Author Vie Ciné where we discuss whatever you want to. No subject is off topic from sexual trauma, mental health, celebrities, politics etc.
Miss the last livestream? Click HERE to watch the replay.
Follow: MEMOIRSOFAFORGOTTENCHILD Instagram page for exclusive reads from and updates for MEMOIRS OF A FORGOTTEN CHILD ebook. The most recent book trailer part 39 I discuss how the Jehovah Witness religion caused me much depression and anxiety where I would pray to be late enough that we'd miss Reunion at the Kingdom Hall. Click HERE to watch.
I'll leave you with a personal quote of mine, "It's imperative that these acts of wrongdoings do not continue unchecked for it is our children who pay the highest cost." - Vie Ciné
As Iyanla Vanzant says, "I am not my sister's keep, I am my sister."
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Be Blessed. Be Enlightened. Be Loved. ✌🏿