This blog we will be discussing the seriousness of Chris Brown's action's toward Karrueche Tran and how as Black women, we tend to not to believe predatory men's violent actions until they actually complete them. We first came to know about Chris's Brown's violent streak with Rihanna after the 2009 Pre-Grammy's altercation when the two had a heated argument and Chris Brown punched, bit, and hit Rihanna after leaving the festivities. Chris at the time was 19. He then pleaded guilty to felony assault and given 5 years probation plus six months community service. The media during the time hated him. Chris's fans loved him. Chris went on a media blackout only speaking to Larry King to clear his name with his mother by his side. Chris acknowledged what he did was wrong and he apologized to Rihanna and fans. Over time the media stopped ridiculing Chris harshly to which he put out his third album F.A.M.E and life for the R&B icon continued.
Chris Brown's violence didn't stop there. In 2012 Chris brown with his entourage were in club WIP in Manhattan, the same club Drake and his entourage were hanging out. Words were exchanged between the to rivals who dated Rihanna in the past. As the story goes, Chris sent bottles to Drake's table as a gesture. The two began a verbal disagreement over Rihanna. Drake punched Chris in the face and hit Chris with a bottle that landed on Chris's chin. A full out brawl proceeded where club goers were severally injured. Chris vowed to fight Drake whenever he saw him again.
In 2013, Chris Brown and Frank Ocean fought over a parking space. Frank Ocean's designated parking space at Westlake Studio in West Hollywood was taken by Chris Brown. In the lobby Chris Brown reached to Frank for a handshake and Ocean declined. Allegedly Chris jumped Frank with “a couple of guys” while spewing anti-gay slurs coupled with punches. But not to be topped off with a death threat.
But of course, Chris Brown's violence didn't stop there. Between dedicating his allegiance to the street gang Bloods in 2016 now known as Fruit Town Piru of Compton, California (Remind you, Chris Brown in from Virginia) Chris also found time to “beef” with songwriter Kevin McCall in 2016. Kevin McCall is known for co-writing and featuring on Chris's song Deuces back in 2010. The beef started when MCcall tweeted Chris to discuss business and Chris responded by threatening to beat MCcall until he couldn't sing or play piano anymore.
In 2017 Chris Brown and Souljah boy agreed to fight. Why? To put it on Bompton of course, but also because Souljah Boy began trolling Karrueche Tran's (Chris Brown's ex) Instagram by leaving 😘😘😘 emojis underneath her pictures. To which, Chris Brown stalking her page found out and quickly threatened to fight Souljah Boy (honorable mentions include rapper Game, Drake again and Tyson Beckford all over them saying Karrueche's name, hanging out with her, or showing interest in her). Hence why Souljah Boy and Chris Brown needed to put a fight on the Piru headquarters of Bompton.
Now this week on February 21, a leaked document pertaining to Karrueche's restraining order on Chris Brown swept through the media. Why you might ask? Because “Bobby Beige” threatened Karrueche's life. No surprise by the public who watched Chris Brown over the years threat people's lives that now Chris would take his anger out Karrueche physically. The public has witnessed Chris Brown flip on Karrueche and called her out her name on social media like calling her a thot, bitch, hoe etc even to the extent of putting their private business for the world to see like revealing they've indulged in threesomes. But in this restraining order, (the second might I add), Karrueche tells the judge that Chris had punched her in the stomach twice, pushed her down stairs, threatened to beat her and her friends up, stalks her social media etc.
(Watch video of Chris Brown admitting to stalking ex girlfriends BELOW⬇
As with the 2009 incident involving Chris Brown and Rihanna, his fans are making excuses for Chris. The tired line of “He's young and dumb” (the man is almost 30) his fans calling him young and dumb keeps enabling this behavior. Some of his female fan base are defacing Karrueche, as if calling the woman a liar makes Chris Brown any less violent. Others are asking why did she stay and pointing out the Rihanna beating as a warning sign. But then there are the few who are like me, not shocked and completely turned off by Chris Brown. I don't know Karrueche personally, so I won't begin to act as if I can break down her psychology, however, I know WAY TOO MANY women like her and I'll break down their psychology.
Chris Brown is a violent, misogynoir, chauvinistic, hotheaded rich psychopathic spoiled prick. He has been given an opportunity at the tender age of 16 to live his life as an artist that grown folks today with just as much talent if not more would never be able to obtain. From the start Chris Brown hasn't heard the word no and continued to do what he wanted when he wanted. Let's not also forget, Chris Brown is an attractive well over 6 foot tall man. All of that combined was and is asking for disaster and here we are facing disaster. Karrueche was a stylist at the time when she met Chris. As with any woman who gets a once in the life time opportunity to meet a handsome celebrity that takes interest you, you would be overwhelmed to say the least. Their relationship started towards the end of of Chris and Rihanna's make up and break up turmoil. As a regular woman thrown into the spotlight, I bet it had to be exciting and a new experience for Karrueche.
Finally Chris and Rihanna came to a complete end and as the dust settled there was only Chris and Karrueche left. Before there could be a happily ever after there were make ups and break ups in their relationship. Accusations of cheating by Karrueche to Chris. Messy public outbursts from Chris to Karrueche via social media (but really the world). Karrueche took enough Ls for Meek Mills to criticize and the last straw for her, (which would be for many women) is Chris's daughter Royalty who is NOT by Karrueche but by their mutual friend Nia Guzman. The way we the outsiders learned about Royalty was the same why Karrueche learned, via social media and the relationship between her and Chris ended.
Karrueche is like most women, whether dating a celebrity or a shmegular regular deregular guy who happens to be a psychopath. We don't see the signs of abuse because we were told to be the “ride or die” chick. We were told our position is to “hold him down.” We have been socialized regardless of what he says or does, we must “support him” because ultimately he is above our mental health and even physical health. I bet you if we could ask Karrueche did you want to leave Chris before in the relationship and if so, why didn't you? She'd respond some close friend/family/acquaintance etc told her she should stay with him. Not only because as a woman her position is to put everyone before herself, but also this guy isn't just any guy but Chris Brown. I will bet that she had gotten the “Are you crazy” speech in regard to breaking up with Chris or “You're so lucky to be with him” when explaining how Chris abuses her.
Why am I so sure Karrueche has heard this? Because many women have heard this from people, usually other women in support of the most basic of men so I KNOW for a celebrity like Chris Brown, she was told how to act to keep him around instead of an exit plan to leave him. When a woman hasn't yet found herself or haven't been given the proper tools to vet a man, she will accept any man who shows her interest. In the case of Karrueche, if she saw Chris's patterns in relationships or how he interacted with people particularly when upset, she would have saw the red flags early. But I bet she was 'love-bombed' a term that applies to psychopaths. It's when they give so much time, affection, care and show so much charm early to you. You will soon become the co-dependent feel as if you knew him for years. You began to believe this person is your soul-mate and that the psychopath understands you in ways no one else does because of the conversations/dates/vulnerability that you both (but you will come to find out only you) displayed early in the 'getting to know you phase.'
Though it wouldn't matter if Karrueche saw the red flags if she didn't know what to do with the information. For example, my last boyfriend was a psychopath. I knew little about psychopaths and I remember early on in the 'getting to know you phase' I asked him, “Are you a psychopath” to which he replied with glossy dead eyes trying to mimic (psychopaths lack empathy and remorse so they feel their way around human emotions by mimicking emotions or emotionally responding in situations by what society views as correct gestures i.e. when guilty show remorse but it's never from a genuine place) guilt. He responded, "I don't know."
That was a CLEAR sign for me to run off back into safety like Forest Gump and away from him. But again, if you've been conditioned to be the perfect “ride or die” and you don't know what red flags look like aside from a whack up side your head, you'll stay. I bet Karrueche stayed through all the gaslighting (an example would be when Drake flew Karrueche to Canada while Chris was caught up in the courts and he accused her of sleeping with Drake. Calling her all types of hoes and threatening Drake.) Gaslighting is a form of abuse to make the victim question their sanity. To accuse the victim of something which the victim clearly knows is false but is constant pressured, dealing with the abuser's projection and berating the victim begins to question if they are wrong or that maybe it is their fault. By doing this, the victim takes on the blame that was originally for the abuser. Thus doing whatever it take to not upset the abuser i.e. walking on eggshells.
(Watch Instagram video of choosing better by choosing you)
When Karrueche had a legitimate reason to leave Chris, Chris probably used the whole 'the industry is out to get me spiel' to keep her energy (psychopaths are energy suckers) running and to tap open her empathy to keep her complacent. I bet he brought up the fact that he's supposedly bipolar and suicidal. I bet he brought up the fact that people already think of him as a 'bad guy' for beating Rihanna and that if she opened her mouth, it would be a confirmation to them. I bet he told her he was trying and he'll get better. I bet Karrueche wanted to prove if all the other women were using him for his money or fame, she would show him she was different.
How am I so sure of this? Because what Chris displayed was classic psychopathic characteristics and classic co-dependency on Karrueche's part. Karrueche was invested in being the one that changed him and stood by him through thick and thin like many women in these relationships. Regardless if the man beats her. Regardless if the man humiliates her. Regardless if the man is showing signs of mental instability, we stay. EVEN when he threatens our lives. We don't utilize an escape plan like Jennifer Lopez in Enough until we find ourselves whether dead or alive on the next episode of Fatal Attraction. Every 19 hours a Black woman is murdered by a man, every 21 hours a Black woman is murdered by a Black man. For women like Karrueche IF they make it out of the relationship without a near death experience, they need to do the work to examining, how in the hell did they end up in a relationship magnetizing a psychopath.
(Watch video Single Mother's Sons Creating #Hurtbae)
Relationship are ultimately a reflection of ourselves and the programmings we have learned throughout our lives. This doesn't mean you are bad or broken, it means a programming that was installed in you no longer serves its purpose or never should have been put in you. As people, but this blog is mainly for women, we have been given a lot of “how to advice” that was NEVER in our favor. Like the “ride or die” mantra. They NEVER speak on reciprocation (which is key) where YOU would benefit. When you are stuck playing hand maiden/help mate to a man who seeks to destroy your soul and self-esteem how is that beneficial to you? As women we need to learn what programming no longer serves us by doing the internal work of dissecting where it came from, how it became detrimental to our growth process and how to go about removing it from our psyche. If we fail to do this we'll fall into the same repetitive cycle of dating men who have the same character flaw and us falling victim to their psychopathic charade.
Watch video Self-Reflection #goaskvie where I reveal all to help women overcome bad programming and install beneficial programming.
If you Missed Last Week's Blog: Misogynoir & Rape Culture of Black Women click to read: HERE
I'll leave you with a personal quote of mine, "It's imperative that these acts of wrongdoings do not continue unchecked for it is our children who pay the highest cost." - Vie Ciné
As Iyanla Vanzant says, "I am not my sister's keep, I am my sister."
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