Happy Black History Month! As with the ancestors, I strive to make history and for February I will be posting blogs specifically about Black people and sexual violence that we tend to shy from. I'm pretty sure if you've been on social media, specifically the Black-o-sphere you've heard this statistic. If you followed me on YouTube (VIEIS_ME), you know I use this statistic bring awareness to sexual assault in the Black Community. Some people have tried to debunk this statistic without even knowing the source or how it came to be. So let me do the honors of unpacking the Black Women's Blueprint's that states 60% of Black Women will be sexually violated before 18. The survey took 300 women back in 2011 with hopes to survey 700 women in 2012. This survey was backed up with notes to back up the statistic that says Black women are 35% more likely to become victims of domestic violence compared to white women.
Yes, the sample size is small, however, we do know sexual assault is something that's not spoken about. From my three years on speaking about sexual abuse, I cannot tell you how many woman confided in me that they experience rape or molestation. We know we will support a well known or rich sexual deviant. Don't believe me? How did Black people respond to R.Kelly? Bill Cosby? Eddie Long? Chris Stokes and many others (watch the IG video: How we failed Raz B and supported "alleged" pedophile Chris Stokes). How many rape jokes have we heard about girls who experience sexual abuse will become strippers? According to Sex-for-Sale Statistics, "Between 66-90% of women in the sex industry were sexually abused as children." Rappers like Rick Ross who said, "Put Molly all in her champagne, she ain't even know it. I took her home and I enjoyed that, she ain't even know it." We as Black people will surround a sexual predator and use race as a deflection as to why we should ignore their actions, particularly if the predator is male. It then turns into a "conspiracy to bring the brother man down." This mentality treads deeply into misogynoir. A topic that's also ignored or dismissed in the Black-o-phere (we'll discuss this subject next week).
RAINN (Rape And Incest National Network) states 1 in 6 girls will experience a complete or attempted rape. It has been said that for every 1 White woman who reports rape there's 3 to 5 times of Black Women who are secret victims. With incest and molestation running rampant in Black homes where we force the belief "What happens in the home stays in the home" and how we force our children to embrace strangers that we haven't ran a background check on but s/he "looks good." If someone in the family does harm our children we force our children to forgive their perpetrator without any healing for the child or atonement on the predator's part. If the child rejects the idea of forgiveness the family is readily to shun the child rather than the predator. Let's not act like whispers of Uncle Chester the Molester is an overexageration or groping developing girls is a rare experience. Let's cut the BS about the perverted cousin who keeps hitting on young girls at family gathering hardly happen.
Don't get me confused, I'm not saying everyone in a Black family is a sexual predator. No. There are families who honestly have not experienced rape, molestation, or sexual assault nor have they committed these acts on other people. For example, on my mother's side of the family, sexual violence does not exist. But on my father's side it does. From my knowledge, none of my father's relatives have sexually abused anyone, however friends and associates of the family have committed acts of sexual violence to my father's family member(s). So what does this blog post have to do with the Black Women's Blueprint's statistic? Simply, sexual trauma does exist in Black families and yes at a high rate, and to stop this from happening we need to practice:
Speak Up: Meaning if you see a behavior going on let's say a woman is intoxicated and a guy is trying to persuade her into going home with him, intervened by asking the woman is she OK? Can she stand up properly? What's her name? The idea behind this is if she's too drunk to answer correctly, she's too drunk to consent to anything this includes possible sex.
Speak Out: Meaning if you're in public and you see someone sexually assaulting or harassing another person make a scene and call the person out in public. In essence, putting the person on blast. Sexual assaulters thrive in privacy but taking charge to air out their deeds will bring awareness to passerbys who may not realize is going on even the targeted person may not know i.e a peeping Tom. Once the assaulter is in the spotlight, the victim can precede to do what's in his or her best interest in holding the assaulter accountable while you and the public can support the victim if need be.
Speak Truth: Meaning learn five facts about sexual assault and share those facts with people around you. The concept is each one teach one. Because sexual assault is so prevalent in society and it's deemed as taboo, people choose to avoid speaking about prevention, awareness, healing/punishment for those who violate other people. Don't wait until sexual hits home. Be proactive now by educating the society around you because the more we know, the better it is for us to bring forth stopping rape culture.
I leave you with this quote of mind. "It's imperative that these acts of wrongdoings do not continue unchecked for it's our children who pay the highest cost."
To hear the full interview and the advise I gave to listeners to protect their children from becoming victims and the advice I gave to survivors who experienced sexual trauma click HERE.
Currently, I'm working on 101 marketing things but the top priority is to get this book trailer going! Every day I record a quick video on Instagram of pictures that will be used in the professional book trailer video, something like Draw My Life meets digital scrapbooking. To watch the updates and the message behind the pictures that will be used in the professional MEMOIRS OF A FORGOTTEN CHILD book trailer, follow my Instagram: HERE.
Follow Instagram vieis_me for semi-daily Instagram video about educating The public on On The Seriousness Of Sexual Trauma HERE. Last Week's video was about Child Marriages & Rapist Mothers.
If you Missed Last Week's Blog: Author Vie Ciné on RLP Radio Station click to read: HERE
I'll leave you with a personal quote of mine, "It's imperative that these acts of wrongdoings do not continue unchecked for it is our children who pay the highest cost." - Vie Ciné
As Iyanla Vanzant says, "I am not my sister's keep, I am my sister."
I'm planning an event for April which is Sexual Assault Month. I could really use ALL the help to turn this event into something spectacular. If you are in the Boston Area or live in Massachusetts or neither but want to help by contributing funds to this event please contact me via email at email@example.com.
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It's a MUST READ for parents and caregivers!
Purchase MEMOIRS OF A FORGOTTEN CHILD now on Amazon Kindle: HERE or in the STORE page.
Be Blessed. Be Enlightened. Be Loved. ✌🏿