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How To Detect A Stalker

January 12, 2017


Stalkers can be both male and female as with their victims. However, most stalkers are males, about 75% to 80% of stalking cases involve a male stalking a female. Most male stalkers tend to be young to middle-aged. Most have above-average intelligence and range from any socio-economic background.


Not sure what stalking looks like? Here are examples

  • Following someone or always being present when the victim is around

  • Approaching the victim in public or private places with the intent to get closer

  • Randomly appearing at victim's job, workplace or school

  • Trespassing into the victim's home or property s/he owns or manages.

  • Contacting the victim via phone, mail, email, text, social networking , etc.

  • Following victim on social media without knowledge to gain information

  • Placing deliveries to the victim's home or property s/he manages 

  • Verbal threats when victim attempts to establish boundaries 

Stalkers will try to seduce their victim into a relationship by sending flowers, candies, love letters, gifts, or anything the victims likes to show him or her that they "love" (most likely infatuated) the victim. This in their sick mind means they're proving their love and loyalty. The dark side of this is happens when the victim blocks the stalker's unwelcome advances and gestures. This rejection fuels the stalker's fragility and s/he turns the victim's response into a reason to intimate him or her. 


The first red 🚩 flag will appear in sudden unnecessary jealousy and inappropriate reactions to what the victim chooses to do with their life.


The second red 🚩 flag will appear when more spouts of interruption to the victim's life and frequently intruding on their activities their behavior will quickly turn into harassment.  


The third red 🚩flag will appear when harassing acts heighten to threats. These threats may be passive or direct, communicated via social media, texts, or in person.



The fourth red 🚩 flag will appear in violence. This may not be direct violence to the victim, it might be a keyed car, or vandalized apartment but it can QUICKLY ESCALATE INTO PHYSICAL VIOLENCE AND POSSIBLY MURDER


The purpose behind these twisted acts, specifically the last two is to show the victim their dominance over him or her. These are the stages of evolution into their thought pattern, "I just want to prove to you how much I love you," to "I can make you love me like I love you," to "If I can't have you, no one else will."

Of course no one wants the latter of the four but each stalker is different, for most they stay in stage one but you just never know. Some stalkers go between stages, from gifts to threats. This is why having an exist strategy is ULTRA IMPORTANT. If you missed last week's blog were I connected staking to sexual violence, here's the link: National Stalker Awareness Month & Sexual Assault because 31% of sexual assault victims who are stalked are stalked by an ex. 


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Be Blessed. Be Enlightened. Be Loved. ✌🏿


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