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January 25, 2016


Yeah, I'm going there. We as a society tend to praise other people for vanity and we search high and low to fit into the beauty standard to find out that we're nowhere close to making the cut. We self-loathe and hop on the internet to project our self-loathing in one of three if not all three ways. One, attention whoring. Posting pictures after pictures of yourself probably with an "accidental" cleavage spill, tongue out/lips poked (aka duck lips) or buttocks on the sink, whatever for the likes. Second, going online to pick on someone whose self-esteem is just as or more fragile as your own. So you're saying things like you're fat, you're ugly, you're fake, that outfit is bad, your hair is nappy basically you've become the image police as if you have the utmost authority or have been crowned the most desirable EVER (not possible because beauty is in the eye of the beholder and not everyone agrees on everything so . . . ) Thirdly, (most destructive) you do whatever to change yourself starting from easy makeup tips from youtube gurus that can change your identity within minutes and ending with drastically going under the knife at some janky motel spot in the middle of Sketchyville to get fix a flat chemical gunk injected into your buttocks to plump the beyond reality measurements to appease sleazeballs and of course, likes. What would the world be like if not for likes(?) 


Self-love is when you know yourself well enough that whatever society and the mass media says is beautiful or ugly doesn't faze you because you know YOUR worth. Not on some ego trip but on some I know from within. You don't go out of your way to mold yourself to appease others or find out what's hot or to knock the next woman. You see a woman and say what she has or how she looks is beautiful whether you know her or not. Self-love is knowing the cards that you hold and have no problems with the deck you've been given. Self-love is walking in your truth with no shame or angst for what you cannot change and the people who cannot understand. Self-love isn't narcissism, again self-love isn't narcissism, one mo' 'gain, self-love isn't narcissism. Huh? Yeah, you have to be real with yourself. Narcissism allows you to be delusional and self-aggrandizing. As Janet Jackson said in Poetic Justice, "A wise man once said, Look at the ocean and realize that no matter how famous you are or how much money you make know that you'll never be as important as the ocean." Yeah, make sure you don't bust your buttocks while you're falling back to earth.  


Self-love is the appreciation for you and others including your flaws and if you want to change what you don't like, do so but at the SAME time love yourself. That's the hardest thing because we tend to be all left or all right and can't balance a happy medium. Love yourself, love yours, love who you can be but don't deny yourself opportunities for improvements. If you don't like being fifty pounds overweight, change it but drawing x's and o's on your body where you don't like the fat won't change the fat but it'll beat your self-esteem to a pulp. Go to the gym, if you are self-conscious there are hundreds of FREE videos on youtube that helps you tone your body down at home with no or typical household items. If you wish you were more adventurous, join a club that does exciting things. If you wish you were more articulate practice talking and pronouncing so your articulation can be clearer as well as read. Reading helps increases your vocabulary skills as well as your reading fluidity. If you don't like your face, face it head on. Stare at it for so long that you eventually find one thing that you find attractive and then you can build on that. Like I say, no love is better than self-love. 

Be Entertained. Be Enlightened. Be Loved. ✌

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