Last throwback poem for the month of April, it's been real but I miss jotting down my thoughts on life. I love writing poems and being free to express my thoughts rhythmically but I rather go for blogging about topics.
So close I could almost taste it is a phrase I hear often. But never could I actually relate. Maybe so close I can see it or so close I could hear it, no wait, so close I could feel it. But nah never so close I can taste it. I never pin my hopes too up because there's always a space for doubt. Even the most confident person must accept this reality of clout. Sometimes I might be sadistic with this wish that I might not be good enough, like I'm waiting for that no, waiting for that rejection, waiting for that umm sorry, waiting for that we decided to go with someone else. . . Because honestly I think I'm not good enough. I may not be pretty enough, skinny enough, white enough, educated enough, sociable enough, fun enough, professional enough, straight hair enough, rich enough, liked enough, African phenotype too much . . . Sometimes I think I'm not even present on earth like as if time is passing me by as I stand stagnant, age creeping up on me like a bandit. And me standing their naked, scared, and alone because I see no faces I know. No one to have a shoulder to hold, no one to hear my woes, no one to say I know, no one to acknowledge my existence. I speak and it's loud, loud like a lion's roar . . . in my head. But in reality it's so tiny, it's dead. I stand 5'7 tall and little would you know I'm a gentle giant. Never hurtful or on the prowl. And I think that's how vultures smell my SELF. They smell the unconscious of me and I may even help them subconsciously. But I am no one to take abuse. I stand up and choose to protect SELF, because I know no one else will. So I put all that doubt aside. Put on my pristine matter that are the pieces of me and work my GOD given talents. Because I just need that one yes to make it spectacular, that one yes to make it matter, that one yes to make all that not good enough shatter. I may not be close enough to taste it but if I'm close enough to see it, hear it, feel it sooner or later I may be able to taste it.
Be Entertained. Be Enlightened. Be Loved. ✌