So this blog post will be ambiguous yet deep at the same time, an oxymoron but feel me on this. We've all heard the term sleeping with the enemy which is an open and shut remark about being with someone who you know is plotting against you. I like to think of Mr. and Mrs. Smith with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. They were both assassins who were the best at what they do. One day they were assigned to take out each other by their individual agencies that they worked for. The catch? They both had no idea the other was a highly trained assassin, matter a fact, they had no idea what the other person did for a living or anything personal. The battle to the death was on and it wasn't an easy win, but I digress . . .
Living With The Enemy is the same concept but with a spin, instead of a husband and wife assassin duo or being intimate with someone who wants to destroy you, it's about living in an environment with someone who secretly waiting, plotting, and scheming on you. This person isn't just a nay-sayer or a "hater" but a person close to you, someone right underneath your nose, someone you're living with. What do you when this happens to you? One of two things move out. One, change your number and keep it pushing like you've never met him/her. If moving out isn't possible at this time, option two is suited for you. Two, Play dumb as if you don't know yet work the enemy. Every now and then drop vague clues to conversations s/he participated in and watch their reaction. Usually, people like this are passive aggressive. All bark and no bite, softer than a roll of Cottonelle. They only try those who they think they can push around. They only love the drama if the drama isn't directed towards them. They love gossiping, hating, and shading but they don't want any accountability for their part of adding fuel to the fire. They're the type to throw rocks and hide their hands and if asked, they make a big commotion that usually ends with deny Deny DENY. People like that are never to be trusted, my rule of thumb is if they can do that to someone else, know that they're planning to do it to you or they already have. Don't be naive about these people even if they call themselves family. People like that are energy vampires. Anything positive or any type of advancement a person does, they want to cut it down because let's be honest, what else do they got going for themself?
Play the assassin role meaning, be clever and execute every step diligently because it's a game of chess, not checkers. What I do is simply smile, and lace my truth with even MORE truth. Pick at him or her with things that s/he already stated bothers him or her like, I don't know, themself? Confirm their inferiority issues. Example, Person: I don't know how to work the television. Can you fix it? You: It's common sense, I've done it a million times in front of you. Why can't you do it for yourself? Yes, this is petty but it shows the enemy you know far more than they do and when they ever feel like they can boss up on you, remind them who can do something as simple as check for a channel search and who can't. Trust me, all that lowkey hate highkey envy will start to reek like two-day old shit when they have to snivel their way back to you to ask YOU for help. This doesn't sit well them the enemy, especially after how the enemy has been darting arrows behind your back, how can s/he shade your actions, yet when it comes to the basics they need assistance? If you do give into aiding the enemy, make it clear it's a tit for tat arrangement. S/he wants the television fixed, s/he needs to come up off of something. Crying and guilt tripping isn't enough.
Let's say the person is trying to dig into your personal life asking what happened to so and so, reply to the question with a question like what happened to that ex who moved on to the better choice? Or ask what happened to your edges? Or what happened to that project (the same project that was too advanced for their remedial grasp so they delayed it into the far future, right after NEVER). When you reply back always do it with a sincere warm smile or an intrigued face like you really want to know. That way it leaves them confused like does s/he really care? Was that a diss? Was that shade. By the time s/he narrow it down to one answer, you've moved on.
Lastly, if that person invites you into stirring the shit pot, DON'T! This is a setup to get you comfortable enough to think you two are "friends" and that s/he is on your side when in reality s/he is planting seeds to see if your lips will water them with the information that s/he is looking for i.e. gossip but it will be at your expense because when the shit (yes, I've said shit like three, now four times in this blog post) hits the fan, you'll be looking like a backed up toilet. Don't do it! DON'T ... DO ... IT! The purpose of this tactic is to either get you to open up about what s/he thinks you know about what s/he said/done concerning you or s/he wants you to drop the intel on someone else; either way, this will not end well for you because it's a trap to gain the upper hand by you supply him or her with the tea for the next spillage. Don't let the tea have your name in it! Do what you need to do to move your pieces on the board to demolish your opponent, yet still remain classy and when you do get your ducks in order . . . Get the fuck, on! Delete, block, swerve, and curve that energy vampire masquerading as a person.
Be Entertained. Be Enlightened. Be Loved ✌