So if you follow me on social media you know I'm a HUGE fan of J.Cole. He's not only handsome, gifted, and a deep thinker but he translate emotions well plus he's a storyteller rapper versus the trap stars of the rap genre. There's a song on his latest album titled 2014 Forest Hills Drive (which I definitely copped) called Love Yourz and in the song there's a line that goes "There's beauty in the struggle." Love Yourz is simple, love what you have, love the journey you're going through, understand everything you see isn't gold and be appreciative above all. On my social media accounts, you know I'm a struggling self-published author and my first book is titled MEMOIRS OF A FORGOTTEN CHILD, a book dedicated to sexual abuse survivors. The purpose behind me writing this book was to speak my truth hoping I could encourage others to share theirs. Talking about sexual abuse is taboo, I knew this before writing a word in my notebook but I knew that sexual abuse was bigger than me. I couldn't tell you how many women and girls I had come in contact with who have been sexually abused. When you face your truth and heal from sexual trauma, it's like a radar when you come in contact with others who haven't. You can just tell; the signals are subtle but to you, she might as well have a big red dot on her face and a blow horn reading off her trauma. When I was in the social services field and I would talk to these women about childcare because that was my job, they were relaxed and welcoming, even enthusiastic to see a young Black woman helping low income families but during one on one conversations we always sidetracked to me, and what I was doing, meaning outside of work what were my interests and I honestly would say, "I'm writing a book based on my life about sexual abuse." Can I say that sentence slapped the taste out of their mouths? Because it did. People are okay with you saying I'm writing fictional books, romance books, historical book but let you touch on something personal. A secret that they've been hiding or someone they know has been hiding and see the faces drop. A few would say something like, "Oh that's nice," or why, what made you want to write this book. Many wanted to hear the words, "Yes, I too have been violated" so deep down inside they can feel normal. My acknowledgement would validate them as NON ruined goods. I think my testimony and my commitment to writing MEMOIRS OA A FORGOTTEN CHILD gave them that. To reassure them that they aren't alone and although sexual violence shouldn't be the norm, it is. Stats show 1 in 6 women in their lifetime will be raped and 1 in 33 men in their lifetime will be raped. Of course, you can see for women the numbers are higher than men and the overall belief is women are objects and their sex and sexuality is something that doesn't belong to them. It's something to be bargained with and if all else fails just take. As if she is no longer is a person but a thing, an endless, emotionless thing to be used and abused and when done tossed away or put on standby when a newer model appears. For males, it's a sense of power and control. Maybe to instill fear in him to show who's boss, to degrade you or I knew you wanted it so I gave it to you. Regardless, it's WRONG to the highest degree it's wrong. I named this blog, "There's Beauty In The Struggle" because even though the sexual violation is traumatic and scars a person for life, there is hope after trauma. You don't have to stay a victim for the rest of your life. The healing process can start and can take as long as you want. It took me about thirteen years to accept that it happened to me. It took me ten years to tell somebody. It took me fourteen years to spread my truth and it took me sixteen years to put it on paper, so no, you're not alone. We share the same journey and scars but at the end of the day, we are all survivors that overcame a significant trauma and there's life after trauma and beauty in the struggle.
For more information about MEMOIRS OF A FORGOTTEN CHILD head over to the BOOK page or STORE page and if you'd like to read excerpts from MEMOIRS OF A FORGOTTEN CHILD follow me on all things social media. Facebook: Vie Cine Instagram: vieis_me Pinterest: VIEISME Twitter: VIE_IS_ME
Be Entertained. Be Enlightened. Be Loved ✌