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Shh...Secrets

March 11, 2016

 

Cue Madonna's Secret (side note that song used to creep me out as a kid). When people think of secrets they automatically become filled with suspicion. Whether they think the secret is about them, something they're excluded from, or a devious confession most people want to be in the know and the definition of a secret is to exclude, no one wants to be the one who's excluded. The funny thing is we all have secrets whether we call it secrets or not is irrelevant, there are parts of us no one outside of our immediate circles knows about, and there are a handful of secrets that you keep to yourself. Why? Because we are multifaceted beings with different faces, not on some fake, manipulative, scheming plotting, two faced specimen it's just that we seem to keep a little mystery about ourselves to ourselves. I'm not going to be the one who says secrets are wrong and like a motor mouth you must detail everything that's on your mind, no. You need to be able to distinguish between good secrets and bad secrets, however, it's healthy to be able to balance what needs to be kept solo and what needs to be shared. This is how we as a society drop the ball because we tell our children about good touch, bad touch and not what to do during a sexual assault attempt. Now you're like huh? Follow me here.

 

When it comes to a fire we teach our children young stop drop and roll. We even bring out firefighters to schools to explain fires and show children exactly how to stop drop and roll (though I don't think I've ever heard of people stop dropping and rolling during a fire, I've always heard of people yelling frantically and running around like they're on fire, because, well, they are). BUT when it comes to a pedophile we tell our children kick, scream, and run before there's an actual violation AND after we tell our children to tell us, yet we say this in a manner where it's a failure on the part of the child like s/he put him or herself in that situation that's where the guilt, shame, and fear comes in and the violation that's eating the child whole in now a secret. 

 

You get it now? Why is it as a society we don't prepare our children for everything even rape or molestation. Before you back away from the screen and call 911 on me, I mean why don't we as a society tell our kids the truth about sexual abuse? Stats says the weird guy jerking to kids swinging on swings in a fedora hat and trench coat most likely doesn't exist, More likely than not, it's a cousin, a coach, a teacher, a priest. That's the scariest thing because the predator is most likely someone you know which adds on to why children feel like the abuse needs to stay a secret whether they were threatened or not. How can you betray Uncle Jimmy, if he's beloved and you'd be known as the person who changes that? No one wants that kind of pressure and blame on their shoulders, particularly a child who doesn't have the tools to processes what has happened and understand that it's not their fault. 

This brings me back to secrets and the question why we as a society don't prepare our children to act in defense during an assault? It's crazy because we have self-defense classes to keep women safe from being victimized yet not children? The most vulnerable and susceptible population to be victimized. Food for thought, if you could create a step by step method to teach children how to fight off a pedophile would you? Now do it! 

Be Entertained. Be Enlightened. Be Loved ✌

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